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Showing posts from 2017

Now I Become Myself

Now I become myself. It's taken
Time, many years and places;

I have been dissolved and shaken,
Worn other people's faces,
Run madly, as if Time were there,
Terribly old, crying a warning,
"Hurry, you will be dead before—"

(What? Before you reach the morning?
Or the end of the poem is clear?
Or love safe in the walled city?)

Now to stand still, to be here,
Feel my own weight and density!

The black shadow on the paper
Is my hand; the shadow of a word
As thought shapes the shaper
Falls heavy on the page, is heard.

All fuses now, falls into place
From wish to action, word to silence,
My work, my love, my time, my face
Gathered into one intense
Gesture of growing like a plant.

As slowly as the ripening fruit
Fertile, detached, and always spent,
Falls but does not exhaust the root,
So all the poem is, can give,
Grows in me to become the song,
Made so and rooted by love.

Now there is time and Time is young.
O, in this single hour I live
All of myself and do not move.

I, th…

Jangan sampai kemanusiaan kita hilang

Sudah lama ngga nemuin typo-typo seperti ini. Ada satu huruf a yang hilang. Well, yang penting sisi kemanusiaan kita jangan sampai terhilang.

I’m thankful that my life doth not deceive

I’m Thankful That My Life Doth Not Deceive by Henry David Thoreau
I’m thankful that my life doth not deceive Itself with a low loftiness, half height, And think it soars when still it dip its way Beneath the clouds on noiseless pinion Like the crow or owl, but it doth know The full extent of all its trivialness, Compared with the splendid heights above. See how it waits to watch the mail come in While ’hind its back the sun goes out perchance. And yet their lumbering cart brings me no word, Not one scrawled leaf such as my neighbors get To cheer them with the slight events forsooth, Faint ups and downs of their far distant friends— And now ’tis passed. What next? See the long train Of teams wreathed in dust, their atmosphere; Shall I attend until the last is passed? Else why these ears that hear the leader’s bells Or eyes that link me in procession? But hark! the drowsy day has done its task, Far in yon hazy field where stands a barn, Unanxious hens improve the sultry hour And with con…

Who Am I?

I am your constant companion.
I am your greatest helper or your heaviest burden.
I will push you onward or drag you down to failure.
I am completely at your command.

Half the things you do, you might just as well turn over to me,
and I will be able to do them quickly and correctly.
I am easily managed; you must merely be firm with me.
Show me exactly how you want something done, and after a few lessons I will do it automatically.

I am the servant of all great men.
And, alas, of all failures as well.
Those who are great, I have made great.
Those who are failures, I have made failures.

I am not a machine, though I work with all the precision of a machine.
Plus, the intelligence of a man.
You may run me for profit, or run me for ruin; it makes no difference to me.
Take me, train me, be firm with me and I will put the world at your feet.
Be easy with me, and I will destroy you.

Who am I?
I am a HABIT!

sine nomine

A richer imagination

Bagaimana kalau lautan adalah daratan Bagaimana kalau darat adalah laut Bagaimana kalau tidak ada bayangan Bagaimana kalau kita tidak membutuhkan pendapat dari manusia
Bagaimana jika kegagalan dapat membawa lebih banyak kejutan manis nantinya

Bus Pintar

Maaf kalau saya agak bodoh karena mengemudi sambil merekam video via HP saat di Jalan Tol Dalam Kota, Jakarta. Mengapa?

Karena saya gemas, geram setiap kali—tapi baru kali ini merekamnya—melihat truk atau bus yang mengambil atau lewat di lajur paling kanan saat di jalan tol, yang sebenarnya diperuntukkan ke mobil-mobil kecil. Apabila ada bus atau truk, tidak begitu bisa sigap mengantisipasi kejadian atau mobil-mobil yang berada di depannya karena badan truk atau bus yang besar itu menutupi. Seperti salah satunya bus pintar yang saya rekam di atas. Apalagi, "bus pintar" tersebut adalah milik lembaga pemerintahan.

Apakah mereka mempunyai privilese tertentu sebebas itu?


I cannot sleep. For a while I sat here in bed with the lights off, and thought and prayed. I have a headache. It would be so easy to take a sleeping pill, but He knows I need sleep—and how much. And sometimes there are more important things. Like seeing the world outside flooded with moonlight and watching the last log in my fireplace flicker and die, the shadows of the ceiling beams leaping, as it were, in the fire-light. And knowing He is here.
I get snowed with my responsibility at times, and when I do, I fret. And as always it “tends only to evil” (Ps. 37:8 RSV). I get cross and take it out on the kids. Not deliberately. But I am worried about not being a better mother, and then I nag or scold when I should first instruct or correct.
Well, every time I start talking to the Lord about it, God keeps saying, love them. Which seems (or could seem) odd—because I love every ounce of them. But God means “show it.” Let them in on the fact. Enjoy them. You think they are the greatest—let the…


The care of the soul is a matter of the highest importance; beyond anything which can be brought into comparison with it.” —George Whitefield

Tempo lalu saya menulis sedikit tentang Kichijiro, seorang tokoh dalam Silence yang sering jatuh dan bangun dalam hidupnya. Kemudian, baru-baru ini saya diingatkan tentang salah satu tokoh dalam The Lord of the Rings karya (John Ronald Reuel) Tolkien. Tokoh tersebut adalah Gollum, atau disebut juga Sméagol.
Kalau Kichijiro kadang jatuh, kadang bangun, Sméagol kadang jahat, kadang baik.
Apakah kedua tokoh tersebut serupa? Saya tidak tahu, sebab saya tidak akan mengupasnya panjang lebar—tapi satu yang pasti, yaitu bahwa kalau Kichijiro, pada akhirnya benar-benar mau bertobat dan berubah, tidak mau jatuh bangun lagi dalam hidupnya.
Bagaimana dengan Gollum/Sméagol?
Mari kita kupas sejenak tentang dia.
Gollum merupakan salah satu jenis hobbit, makhluk fantasi karangan Tolkien. Ciri-cirinya pendek dan kotor karena agak memiliki semacam lendir di tubuhnya (


Always question those who are certain of what they are saying.” —Elie Wiesel

Kebanyakan dari kita seperti Kichijiro. Salah satu tokoh dalam novel maupun film Silence.
Ataukah hanya saya yang mirip?
Mengapa saya menulis tentang Kichijiro jika saya saja sendiri masih seperti Kichijiro? Entahlah.
Saya memang belum pernah membaca langsung bukunya, namun dari filmnya kita bisa belajar tentang tokoh Kichijiro ini.
Kichijiro adalah seorang pemabuk sekaligus nelayan yang dimintai tolong dan ditawari untuk dapat pulang ke negara asalnya oleh Father Rodrigues dengan menjadi guide atau penunjuk jalan.
Tapi, sekalipun dia sudah diberi kesempatan untuk kembali ke negara asalnya dan mengabdi pada satu tujuan, yaitu menjadi guide, sepertinya Kichijiro sering kali berusaha mengkhianati. Sering kali jatuh-bangun. Entah demi uang. Demi menepis ketakutan. Demi menyelamatkan nyawanya sendiri. (Mungkin mirip figur Yudas Iskariot.)
Meskipun Kichijiro sering jatuh-bangun, ia selalu mau mengakui dosa-dosanya. Lalu…