...
Her rationale was that most people tend to walk around thinking that they
should feel happy and cheerful every day, and if they aren't, they see it as a
failure. But it's not. Because that's just the way life is. Up and down, happy
and sad.
She sold me on her theory and I decided to stop resisting and give myself permission to feel sad and disappointed. And you know what, it took some of the pressure off—almost immediately, because I didn't need to "fix" the way that I felt anymore. I could just "feel" whatever came my way.
My usual routine, when I'm not feeling great, is to work hard at pretending that I'm happy. This method definitely hasn't proved to be successful in the past. Because if I turn away from what I'm feeling, I'm just postponing a hurt that I'll end up having to deal with later. And the tricky part about later, is that my sad and disappointed feelings then show up as anger. I turn into one angry, irritated Suzanne, and by then I can't explain why.
She sold me on her theory and I decided to stop resisting and give myself permission to feel sad and disappointed. And you know what, it took some of the pressure off—almost immediately, because I didn't need to "fix" the way that I felt anymore. I could just "feel" whatever came my way.
My usual routine, when I'm not feeling great, is to work hard at pretending that I'm happy. This method definitely hasn't proved to be successful in the past. Because if I turn away from what I'm feeling, I'm just postponing a hurt that I'll end up having to deal with later. And the tricky part about later, is that my sad and disappointed feelings then show up as anger. I turn into one angry, irritated Suzanne, and by then I can't explain why.
—Suzanne Beecher